You know when you shake a fizzy drink untill it exploads everywhere, yeah that is how I feel.
I have so many things fizzing up inside on me that im to shy or all round Awkward to say out loud. So I hqve decided to say itall on here where no-one will judge me (well at least i hope not…?) Or loose me friends.
I also hope that writing this will help me sort out my emotions and feelings (and maybe help other people who feel the same way… if anyone actually reads the rubbish I have to say)
I guess this is all I have to say as an opening introduction to a random “sort out my feelings blog” as my friend Jelly ( not their real name for privacy and all) would probably say 🙂
Bye for now.
I look at the world in perspective
All the lottle things
Those things that no-one notice
Looking at those little things sadden me
That one homeless man by Brighton beach
The little girl I knew, who looking back on, was obviously abused
The way leaves fall of trees
And the last breath that an animal takes
Someone once said to me,
“You cant change those things”
But what I would like to change what that one person said,
“You can’t change those things” alone
You cant change anything alone
But when people support you with the things you do
It would feel like you can conquer the world
Looking at the world in perspective
Changing those things you see
That is what truly makes the world better
Have you ever been so clumsy to walk into a wall? . . . Well think of that and then multiply it by 100!! When I was younger I was walking along and looking at a toy camera I had just bought with my pocket money that shoots whater out of the lense ( not a conventional toy, I know- but I wasnt I conventional child as you’re about to find out!) And I walked straight into a bin- or a trash can *pictured in an american accent* and I dont meen slightly bumped into it- OHH NO! I walked into the bin and then fell head first into it! If you think that this traumatic retelling of the lowest point in my life couldnt get any worse… you are very very wrong indead!
I the thought that no-one would notice (as you have probably gethered by now, this wont end well) so I tried to style it out, which I should point out is very hard when you facing head first into a bin! I pretended that I was doing the worm (the dance move) which may I just add that I cant even do the worm when there isnt a bin on my head never mind when im head first in one! I dont have a clue why I thought that doing the worm while head first in a bin was a better idea than getting out of thd bin and apologising to the owners of the bin (I have said the word bin a lot!) who were now standing at their door way… probably very confused! My friend jelly (not his real name) called it a “a splendid catastrophic- catastrophe!” He wasnt exadurating either…. it.was. awfull.
Ive just about gotten over that odd experience, and I thought that I have evolved as a human being and wasnt as awkward as before… NOPE! I was walking along brighton pier with jelly. It is my favourite place to take photos and do drawings of the beautiful scenery when I saw my crush walking towards me! Jelly doesnt like my crush, who I will call…blondey (because he is blonde) blondey and I are quite good friends (jelly doesnt know why I like him, he calls blondey selfie stick because I will admit that he takes a lot of selfies) and at the exact moment that he sees me and comes over to talk, I fall. Yep, I fall! It seems as if brighton is just full of things that only exist for me to fall into. I mean the hole I fell intowasnt very big and it wasnt like I fell completely into it andit sucked me into a big whole (which at thatmoment, I thought would have been better than facing the humiliation of facing him after that) I dont even know why there was a damn hole on the beach… its a rocky beach in the middle of winter, it is not like people are wanting to dig holes! That is besides the point. Jelly helped me up and blondey said hi to meand we had a little chat untill jellys phone rang and he stepped aside to take it. I couldn’t believe this was happeng to me! Iwas actually talking to a boy I liked and I hadnt said or done anything embarrassing… it sounds cheesy thinking about it now but just go makesure I wasnt dreaming i pinched myself. I WASNT DREAMING! But I had aparently said oww! Out loud and blondey asked what was wrong and I said that I thought that I had been bit (because I thought that if I told him that I pinched myself, he would probably think I was a loony who falls in holes and pinches people!)…. he asked by what. There are no mosquitos in England so I said that I got bit by a flea!! He is definatly going to thing im wierd now! He will think im that girl with bloody fleas!
I got jelly and we walked to my house where I retold him the story (the part after he left to answer a phone call, that I later found out was his dad) I also told jelly that he can never leave my side incase I do something embarrassing and he hase to drag me out of the situation!
I think that I made you all feel c a lot better about how clumsy you all are compared to the walking disaster that is me!
(I also named my friend jelly for this specifically because he said this to me yesterday “in my opinion, no-one should trust jelly. It is practically a health hazard!” I still dont know why it was a health hazard and why he started talking about jelly when we were doing our english homework, but thats jelly for you)
This is the pier 🙂
Bye for now xx